Harley Quinn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
totalwildcard) wrote2025-08-27 03:04 pm
totalwildcard) wrote2025-08-27 03:04 pm
On the Mainland; Late Wednesday Evening
Heist time was approaching! And for that, Harley had need of a mode of transportation that could hold a lot more stuff than the Chevelle she kept wishy-washying about whether to keep or not. A mode of transportation like, say, a huge van. Which was exactly what she'd gone out shopping for that fantastic Wednesday night!
Well, "shopping". Look, she couldn't be blamed if someone just happened to leave a convenient van just laying around just right out on the street, all alone and ripe for the taking for someone with the right skill set. If anything, Harley was doing the poor thing a favor! She was going to take it on an adventure!
So, long story short: now, Harley had a van.
Only just one small problem. Harley's new van had a fairly conspicuous look. Namely, there was the giant, garish logo of a huge multinational company plastered all over the side of it. And the front. And the back. Harley surveyed the vehicle, tapping her finger against her chin, her head tilted way to the side. "I don't think think this'll do," she mused lightly to herself, in deep understatement. In the unfortunate event of witnesses, it would be very easy to successfully describe to the cops. But, goddammit, all of her sketchy car guys were back in Gotham. She knew she shoulda made some more connections!
Except.
Light bulb moment!
"Wait, I got it!"
-----
Not too much later, Harley was pulling up to a particular small warehouse along a street lined with many small warehouses. The van screeched to a halt right in front of the big overhead door. Harley herself hopped out and marched right up to the actual human sized entrance next to it.
She kicked the door in.
It caused a similar commotion with the thugs inside as it had the first time. Only this time the guy near the front of the room, moving with a slight limp, clocked her face and immediately went a little pale. "Oh, good!" Harley announced brightly, taking in the sort-of familiar faces. "The gang's all here! Figured you might've bounced after you were done pissin' your collective pants."
It was quiet in the room, aside from that. The thugs looked wary and tense, but they weren't making any sudden moves. There were four of them, and at least two kept darting their gaze from Harley to right past her, like they were... looking for something? Harley blithely ignored it.
"See, I got this van outside," she continued, "that needs some detailin'? Actually, it needs a full re-paint. Into something as boring as you can make it. I know, it's a tragedy to use such a fine canvas for such a major bummer of a style faux pas, but unfortunately I need it like that for business reasons. So, be dears and fix that for me, wontcha?"
There was no movement.
"You're... alone?" one of the guys hazarded.
"Hmmh?" Harley hummed pleasantly, eyebrows raised, as she looked over at him. "Oh, ya mean the scary guy?" She shook her head, like she was delivering just the most unfortunate bit of news, even if her tone didn't change any. "Yeah, we broke up. Yeah, I'm bein' open about it this time, no hiding whatsoever. Ya gotta accept a situation if you wanna actually do anything about it, yanno?"
The guys were now shiftily looking towards each other. One of them nodded to another one, and the other one reached for something --
And yanked his hand back with the sound of a loud bang.
Which had of course come from one of the two guns Harley had just whipped out from behind her back. "Uh uh!" she admonished them, and smiled real wide, all teeth and sharp. "Don't understimate the solo act, or you might hafta hope he will come save you." She gestured behind herself, towards the open door, with one of the guns. "Now chop chop, chop shop boys!"
Say that three times fast!
And now Harley was going to have the blandest looking big van possible. So... success!
(NFB because it's off the island, establishy!)
Well, "shopping". Look, she couldn't be blamed if someone just happened to leave a convenient van just laying around just right out on the street, all alone and ripe for the taking for someone with the right skill set. If anything, Harley was doing the poor thing a favor! She was going to take it on an adventure!
So, long story short: now, Harley had a van.
Only just one small problem. Harley's new van had a fairly conspicuous look. Namely, there was the giant, garish logo of a huge multinational company plastered all over the side of it. And the front. And the back. Harley surveyed the vehicle, tapping her finger against her chin, her head tilted way to the side. "I don't think think this'll do," she mused lightly to herself, in deep understatement. In the unfortunate event of witnesses, it would be very easy to successfully describe to the cops. But, goddammit, all of her sketchy car guys were back in Gotham. She knew she shoulda made some more connections!
Except.
Light bulb moment!
"Wait, I got it!"
Not too much later, Harley was pulling up to a particular small warehouse along a street lined with many small warehouses. The van screeched to a halt right in front of the big overhead door. Harley herself hopped out and marched right up to the actual human sized entrance next to it.
She kicked the door in.
It caused a similar commotion with the thugs inside as it had the first time. Only this time the guy near the front of the room, moving with a slight limp, clocked her face and immediately went a little pale. "Oh, good!" Harley announced brightly, taking in the sort-of familiar faces. "The gang's all here! Figured you might've bounced after you were done pissin' your collective pants."
It was quiet in the room, aside from that. The thugs looked wary and tense, but they weren't making any sudden moves. There were four of them, and at least two kept darting their gaze from Harley to right past her, like they were... looking for something? Harley blithely ignored it.
"See, I got this van outside," she continued, "that needs some detailin'? Actually, it needs a full re-paint. Into something as boring as you can make it. I know, it's a tragedy to use such a fine canvas for such a major bummer of a style faux pas, but unfortunately I need it like that for business reasons. So, be dears and fix that for me, wontcha?"
There was no movement.
"You're... alone?" one of the guys hazarded.
"Hmmh?" Harley hummed pleasantly, eyebrows raised, as she looked over at him. "Oh, ya mean the scary guy?" She shook her head, like she was delivering just the most unfortunate bit of news, even if her tone didn't change any. "Yeah, we broke up. Yeah, I'm bein' open about it this time, no hiding whatsoever. Ya gotta accept a situation if you wanna actually do anything about it, yanno?"
The guys were now shiftily looking towards each other. One of them nodded to another one, and the other one reached for something --
And yanked his hand back with the sound of a loud bang.
Which had of course come from one of the two guns Harley had just whipped out from behind her back. "Uh uh!" she admonished them, and smiled real wide, all teeth and sharp. "Don't understimate the solo act, or you might hafta hope he will come save you." She gestured behind herself, towards the open door, with one of the guns. "Now chop chop, chop shop boys!"
Say that three times fast!
And now Harley was going to have the blandest looking big van possible. So... success!
(NFB because it's off the island, establishy!)