Pick Your Poison; Wednesday Morning

[totalwildcard]

Yesterday, late in the afternoon, Harley had shown up at the door of Pam's store sobbing uncontrollably, fully inconsolable and incoherent with the melodramatic weight of her grief.

The evening had been much the same, curled up on the sofa in the store, swinging between bouts of sad sulking and intermittent wailing. If Pam had gotten anything intelligible out of her beyond something about breaking up - not that that was hard to decipher into a more fleshed-out story just with educated guesswork alone - and another something about hitting a door (?) it was a small miracle.

And Harley was still there now, waking up on the very same sofa with a start. It took a moment of blinking for her to realize where she was, and another for her to remember why.

It twisted her face into something sad again, but at least she didn't immediately get into another crying jag. So, that counted as progress, right?

(for that gal whose store and person were modded with permission, with an option for that guy already in the store as well)

Comments

[totalwildcard]

Harley shrugged, awkwardly. "I dunno."

Her lips were doing the sad thing again, though, corners pulling downwards.

"He dum--" No, nuh uh. "We broke up." Sounded mutual, much better. "Did I tell ya that much?"

[joan_of_bark]

"Several times," Pam assured her. "He dumped you?"

Well, that one was new, if disappointingly unexpected.

[totalwildcard]

Harley grimaced. "Well he's the one that left, I mean, he walked away."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam would reserve that 'told you so' for her private time.

"He's an idiot," she said instead. "Good riddance."

[totalwildcard]

No surprise in Harley not being quite yet ready to agree with that.

She buried her objection in taking a big sip from her mug. Mostly. There was still a hurt whine.

[joan_of_bark]

"And I'm sorry."

Debatable, but at least she was trying.

[totalwildcard]

Yeah, even Harley knew better than to think that was true. "No you're not," she mumbled into her mug. "This is what ya said should happen."

Well, more or less.

[joan_of_bark]

"I said you should break up with him," Pam said, and immediately wanted to kick herself for getting drawn into this. "Because you deserve better. Instead he just assholed onward."

[totalwildcard]

Now, that Harley couldn't actually argue with.

But her face immediately began to turn cry-wards again. "He said it was better," she said, choked up and tight.

[joan_of_bark]

Pam rolled her eyes. "Of course he did," she said. "Men would much rather play the martyr than go to therapy."

[totalwildcard]

"And just datin' a shrink don't count," Harley replied, managing to control her voice again.

Briefly, before:

"'Cept we weren't even dating. Silly, stupid me."

[joan_of_bark]

"You're not stupid," Pam said, softer. "Or silly. You just want to believe in love."

[totalwildcard]

Harley heaved a big sigh, possibly in the hopes it might steady her somehow. It did not. "Didn't even get close to love."

Had she not?

"Don't think he'd allow that."

[joan_of_bark]

And Harley wondered why Pam took her insistence that there were good things to Marc with a pinch of salt.

"I'm not sure he gets to dictate that to you," she said mildly. "But I get your point."

[totalwildcard]

"I don't mean dictate," Harley objected, even despite the latter thing Pam had said. "I mean if ya asked him if he even could, I bet he'd say no."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam's eyes were threatening to roll out of her head. She kept them set on Harley with some amount of effort. "Of course," she said.

[totalwildcard]

Harley just attempted to bury more of her sad muttering in her mug.

"He said he didn't have fun, neither," she said, almost wistful, "but I showed him wrong."

[joan_of_bark]

"A therapist I know would say he has a lot of self-image issues he should work on," Pam offered. "And probably something about projecting."

Was a little nudge of the shoulder with her own shoulder safe? Well, there went nothing.

[totalwildcard]

That depended, on whether she considered Harley flopping helplessly against her shoulder as a result safe or not.

It happened, regardless, with another pitiful little noise.

[joan_of_bark]

Well. Now Pam had to move her arm a little, to facilitate that.

She wasn't going for a full on hug, but she was at least... patting Harley gently on her far shoulder. "It's going to be okay," she said. "I promise."

[totalwildcard]

"How do you know? It never is."

She was going to regain some optimism eventually.

Just, maybe not today.

[joan_of_bark]

"Because I know what it's like to go through a long, dark nightmare," Pam said, her tone gentling again. "And to come out on the other side, blinking against the sun, not quite believing that you got there at all." She looked towards the door, her eyes going a touch distant. "But the sun's always there. We just can't always see her."

[totalwildcard]

... And just like that, Harley was crying again.

Maybe not for the reasons someone might think. First of all, sun theming wasn't quite as near to her issues at hand as something related was.

[joan_of_bark]

Pam let out a soft breath.

Yeah, all of this was mostly just about getting Harley through the day in one piece.

She let her hand sit on Harley's shoulder, and gave in to rub soothingly. At least a little bit, with her thumb.

[totalwildcard]

Harley attempted to curl more into it. So, maybe that was a good call?

"Yanno what the worst thing is?" she asked, trying to contain the sobbing, and failing. "I -- I thought I was something good."

Yes, 'was', not 'had'.

(Although that too.)