Apartment Above Needful Things; Tuesday Late Morning

[totalwildcard]

It had taken a while, and a lot of hopping back and forth between the island and the mainland to work off some restless energy (to say nothing of all the times Harley had poked at various means of getting back to Gotham), but things had eventually settled down again for the proprietess of Needful Things. Hell, eventually there'd even been a text from Flag. Okay yeah, but srsly where did you get this number? maybe might not've been a win in many other eyes, but it definitely had been in Harley's!

Also no, she hadn't told him where she'd got his deeply personal phone number from. Always better to leave 'em guessing! Yearning for more, and all that.

So, business as usual!

In a sense, anyway, 'cause Harley wasn't down in the store but instead up at her place, enjoying her breakfast (leftovers from the previous night's dinner). Bruce had been walked, so it was time to chill for a bit before seeing what the day might bring.

(Unfortunately, she had not listened to the radio.)

(expecting one!)

Comments

[totalwildcard]

Once again, it was good that Harley had no neighbors.

"If that upsets ya you can leave!"

Also Harley was holding onto her bat with both hands and swung it right into Wrong Harley's smack.

[gotthatphd]

It was Fandom. You'd think that even if Harley did have neighbors, they'd be understanding about the age-old tradition of superhero v. superhero (or in this case, retired supervillain v. retired supervillain) first-meeting combat!

"Nope!"

And now she was holding on to that baseball bat with all her might!

"I'm not leavin' till you talk to me!"

[totalwildcard]

Were the bats going to survive this? Time would tell! Possibly soon!

Harley took another swing.

"Why?!"

[gotthatphd]

"Because you need to talk to somebody!"

Harley ducked under the swing abruptly, spinning to the other side of Harley, bat firmly in hand.

"And because I don't want Pammy addin' to the mountain of guilt she's already carryin' on her pretty shoulders!"

[totalwildcard]

"Sounds like a you problem!" Harley declared, scowling, whirring around - elbow yanked high, trying to catch the other Harley's nose with it. "And I've talked!"

[gotthatphd]

"If you'd talked right you wouldn't be trying to hit me right now!"

Oh wow, that one almost got her. The dodge-swerve Harley's head did just now? Impressive!

[totalwildcard]

And Harley pressed on, too, trying to use her semi-sideways stance to help her smack the butt of the bat right against Harley's stomach. Maybe knock her towards the kitchen table with the momentum.

"Is this how fuckin' judgey I come across?! Good grief!"

[gotthatphd]

"Hurk!"

What? That was the appropriate onomotaopoeiafiaifa for being hurled towards a kitchen table by a baseball bat!

Harley hit the edge of the table hard. "Judgey? Projectiiiing!"

[totalwildcard]

A pile of something fell off the other edge of the table and scattered onto the floor.

Harley did not care. She jabbed at Harley with the bat again. "You're still doin' it!"

[gotthatphd]

"So are you! Stop pokin' me!"

To smack Baby Harley back or not to smack Baby Harley back...

[totalwildcard]

"Would ya prefer another swing?"

Because here one was!

[gotthatphd]

Well, asked and answered!

Harley ducked, and swung her own bat hard at Harley's kneecaps.

[totalwildcard]

And there went Harley, toppling over with the pain of it.

With a mighty screech, because of course.

[gotthatphd]

Harley dove out from under her toppling AU-self before she got caught in the crossfire. "Oof!"

It wasn't quite as loud as the screech, mainly because she had to focus on catching herself with a roll.

[totalwildcard]

It was more of a sideways topple, anyhow, influenced by the hit knee giving out.

And now Harley was on the floor. Kicking out at Decidedly Wrong Harley seemed more like a afterthought than a genuine attempt at anything. It came off... dejected, even.

[gotthatphd]

Harley stepped nimbly out of the way. And then over other Harley, pointing her baseball bat at Harley's face like it was a sword or something.

"Yield, Baby Harley!"

What? It felt like a sword right now!

[totalwildcard]

"Baby?" Harley complained, swatting the bat away with her free hand. Trying to, anyway. And not too hard. Defeat had clearly set in. (She looked sad and tired, that was what was happening.) "What's that make you, huh, Grandma Harley?"

[gotthatphd]

"Nah, I met Grandma Harley a few weeks ago," Harley said cheerfully, ignoring the swat as she leaned down to take Harley's bat. "I'm like... the Mother in this weird Maiden-Crone situation."

A pause.

"Okay, that ain't right..."

[totalwildcard]

Even sad and dejected, Harley was still petty enough to toss her bat off to the side, because that wasn't for anyone else to touch but her.

"Motherfucker, more like."

[gotthatphd]

Well. At least the bat was gone.

"I ain't fucking anyone's mom," Harley said thoughtfully. "That I know of? Or have I? Hm... I guess Ivy's a plant-mommy..."

[totalwildcard]

Harley groaned. "No one cares! Just leave already! Haven't ya humiliated me enough? You and your stupid girlfriend."

[gotthatphd]

"I'm not here to humiliate you, god!" Harley said, gesturing at Harley with her bat. "That's our problem right there! We think people either gotta like-us like-us or they hate us!"

[totalwildcard]

"Wouldja stop swingin' that thing around?" Harley grouched, pushing herself up on her elbows and batting at the bat again.

[gotthatphd]

"That's a lotta attitude when you're the one who started swingin' your big bat around in the first place, lady!"

But at least Harley withdrew the bat.

[totalwildcard]

"This is my home!"

Don't tell her you wouldn't defend yours, Harley!